Steven Gerrard once tore his penis so badly in a Liverpool match it left the club doctor shocked.
Reds legend Gerrard needed stitches on his private parts after suffering a painful laceration during an FA cup tie against Bournemouth.
At the time, Andrew Massey was new to the role of Liverpool’s team doctor – and he had a baptism of fire as he had to fix a wound his training hadn’t prepared him for.
But stitching Stevie’s tackle certainly set him in good stead for the future – as he landed the role as FIFA’s top medic back in March this year.
“Stevie came over to me at the end of the match and said, ‘Doc, you are going to have to have a look at this’,” said Dr Massey in quotes reported by The Sun.
“I looked down and saw blood everywhere and thought, ‘Wow, that must be really sore’.
“I was trying to think back to my medical training and nowhere in my training does it teach you how to stitch a penis.
“I thought, ‘I don’t want the first penis I’ve stitched to be Steven Gerrard’s but it was’.”
Gerrard recalled how he damaged his tackle during the 2-0 win over Bournemouth in 2014.
“The magic of the FA Cup was bloodied on the day my penis was cut and then stitched shut,” Gerrard wrote in his memoir.
“The only surprise that Saturday, was an eye-watering laceration to my private parts.
“I pulled my shorts a couple of inches away from my waist and managed a sneaky check. My underpants were bloodied.
“My mind was racing, I was concerned that something serious had happened.
“I discreetly pulled back my underpants as well as my shorts for a longer look.
“I ran over to the touchline, straight to Brendan [Rodgers]. I also called over to Chris Morgan and Andy Massey.
“I said to Brendan, ‘Look, I’ve got a problem here…’ I nodded down to my privates. ‘There’s a big gash … it’s bleeding,’ I said.
“Chris acted quickly. He called a few of the backroom team over and they formed a little huddle so no one else could see what we were doing as I opened up my shorts.
“Brendan peered down, grimaced and shook his head.”
Gerrard recalled how he played on, adding: “The pain wasn’t too bad – just the dull ache that follows the sharp slicing sensation when your skin first gets cut open.”
But after the win, a room was cleared at Bournemouth’s Dean Court stadium so Dr Massey could get to work.
“Doc Massey spoke to a few people and the room cleared,” Gerrard recalled.
“I took off my shorts and underpants and had one last look. Ouch. I hoped I wasn’t saying goodbye to an old friend.
“I got a jab first and then, careful not to look at what he was doing, I could tell he wasn’t feeling too comfortable about it either.
“Doc Massey must have wished that he could have stayed at home treating the Academy kids’ cuts and bruises.
“I didn’t talk much, though. I wanted him fully concentrated.
“He did a good job. I felt no pain as he put in the stitches – four as he had predicted – and I walked back into the dressing room.”
Gerrard said he got no sympathy from his team-mates – who found the skipper’s injury hilarious as they celebrated their win.
“All the lads were falling about laughing,” said the 40-year-old, who is now manager of Rangers.
“We had won, the atmosphere was good and they thought it was hilarious. I got zero sympathy from any of the lads.
“The lads were absolutely p***ing themselves now and you can imagine how many jokes about inches and stitches, penis size and my future performances at home with Alex. I might have smiled but I could have throttled the lot of them.
“A bunch of footballers are the last people you want discussing the state of your sliced penis.”
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